Week 14 Story: The Businessman, the Crook, and the Bobby

(Eyes Crazy Funny from Pixabay)

Author's Note: For this story, I chose to recreate the Italian tale of the Man, the Serpent, and the Snake. They key elements of the story are still there, but in this case I chose to replace the characters in the story with humans, and place it in modern day Britain. This gives the story, in my opinion, a more humanistic feel (obviously, I mean, it's with humans instead of animals). The characters of the horse and greyhound are portrayed a little differently though. One key term that is good to know is "bobby". In this case it is not a name, but rather a term that is used in the UK for a police officer sometimes.

One day, a businessman was on his morning walk to work. As he strolled by the coffee shop he frequented, he noticed a Crook chained to a nearby lamp post.

"Oi, mate, help me out o' this jam wouldja?" The crook asked the man.

"Absolutely not you dimwit," the man started, "If I do you'll just make off with me wallet."

"No mate, you've got me all wrong. See, I done what they chained me up for, but I got kids to feed and can't hold a job cause of me elbow and lack of education, alright?" The crook looked back and forth between the businessman and the store next to them frantically. "Look, help me out o' this, and I promise I'll be on me way back to me family."

The businessman pondered this, and eventually decided to roll the dice on the man and be a good Samaritan, hoping this act of kindness could change his ways. Sadly, he was mistaken, for as he undid the bonds on the crook, the crook grabbed the man and uttered under his breath, "Thanks mate, now give me the leather you got stowed away in your coat pocket, nice and quiet."

The businessman said to him, "Wait. I have just done right by you. If we can go and find the next three people they see to judge the situation, do you think we could accept their verdict on whether or not you should rob me?" 

The crook laughed at this, and said, "Fine mate, have it your way. But no funny business and odds are you're gettin' robbed either way."

The businessman and the crook went to the next person they saw, a homeless man hanging by a park bench. 

"Oi Jerry," started the crook, "this bloke 'ere just set me free from the Bobbies and reckons that gives him the right to not be robbed by me. Whatcha make o' that?"

The man named Jerry grinned and said, "A high-type like him wearin' one o' them fancy suits? Rob him mate. My boss wore suits o' the same style, and he put me out on the street because I can't run the numbers as good as I used to. No man in one o' those deserves fairness."

"That's one!" the crook exclaimed. "Let's go."

The pair then came across another businessman who was slightly more aged. They explained the situation again. 

"He's young, he has the money, and he could use some real life experience. My boss just laid me off because I don't have a working car to work traveling sales. He's got room yet to grow. I say rob him."

"That's two mate, it's lookin' bleak for you." The crook chuckled.

The businessman's luck turned up however, as the next person they saw was a Bobby.

"Officer! Officer! This crook claims he has the right to rob me because I loosened his bonds," The businessman exclaimed,"Can you please help me? I'll never do it again, I was only trying to be a good person but I was fooled!"

"Alright now settle down lads," the bobby started, "Take me back to where this all started and show me what happened."

They went back to the original spot and they redid the crooks chains.

"And that's exactly how you were?" The bobby asked the crook.

"Exactly so, I'd say he deserved it for getting fooled wouldn't you?" The crook smiled, not realizing the situation.

"Right then, go ahead and rob him. That is, if you can," the bobby chuckled.

Try as he might, the crook could not get undone. The bobby had fooled him back to his original predicament, let the businessman off with a heavy fine, and took the crook to jail.

Bibliography:

• Story from Otranto, Apulia, in Italy. Found at UnTextbook